Walking by the Charles River this time of year, it's quite common to see guys with -10% body fat running shirtless. My first reaction is "wow"! My second reaction is always "I will never be that thin." Why, do you ask? Two key reasons - for one, I loathe running. And secondly, I love, scratch that, I actually adore carbohydrates. I'm convinced to be uber thin, one must avoid the evil carb. You may not necessarily have to run, but it does help.

I've tried both running and going carb free several times. Neither suits me. Running, while a calorically excellent way to burn loads of calories, is simply not fun for me. I'll gladly do 45 minutes on an elliptical machine but running is as painful as the Bangles  concert that my now lesbian ex-girlfriend dragged me to in 1986.

And low-carb weight loss totally works as long as you make it a "lifestyle". When I did the Atkins Diet (before Dr. Atkins died of heart disease), I practically had to deny my Italian heritage since most of that food is verboten. I affectionately renamed it the "Anti-Italian Diet"- no pizza, no pasta, no bread, no fun.

Oh, you'll drop those pounds faster than Rosie Ruiz finished the Boston Marathon as long as you "marry" the diet and make a solemn vow to never, ever, ever to eat those wicked carbs. Cheat however, and the punishment is worse than what any nun in Catholic school could do to you. All of the weight you lose comes back along with an extra ten or so pounds as penance.

I may never be the thinnest guy on the Charles but I'm ok with that. Got to run, time to get the water going for my pasta.