• Parenting

    Honesty is the Best Policy

    I’ve said it before, yet it is worth repeating…One of the trickiest parts of parenting is that it doesn’t always yield immediate results, say, like baking bread does. Heck, it doesn’t even require the patience, fortitude and technique that it takes to start and maintain a sourdough starter. Parenting requires the chutzpah it would take to start a freaking boulangerie. In Paris. Yet every now and again, you’re delivered a morsel more delicious than the sourdough baguette that I just took out of my oven.  You are given a moment from your child that says, “I do hear you. You are helping me learn. I am internalizing your lessons.” And…

  • Election,  Parenting,  Politics,  Relationships,  Self-Care,  Social Media

    Tuck Frump

    In my last post, I talked about coming out twenty-five years ago and the progress that the LGBT community has seen this last quarter-century. In reflecting on how many of these changes made it easier for the younger generation to live their authentic lives, I also thought about the generations that preceded me. Those who had no real choice but to hide and be silent.  Those who know me, whether it be those closest to me, or people with whom I have stayed connected with through social media, know that I am a vocal person. I like to say that I am like cilantro. People love me or hate me.…

  • Uncategorized

    25 Years Out and Proud

    Tomorrow is National Coming Out Day. It is also the day that I was supposed to run my fourth Chicago Marathon, but, you know, 2020. When thinking about Coming Out Day, I remembered that this November marks the 25th anniversary of my coming out. It feels like both yesterday and a lifetime ago. It might seem trivial to say that a lot has changed over the last quarter century, yet it is so true. In today’s world, where so many teens have the bravery of living their authentic selves, coming out at the age of 27 like I did seems old. Part of the reason that it took me so…

  • Gay Pride

    Pride and Prejudice

    Yesterday was a picture-perfect day to run – partly cloudy and warm, yet cool – clearly a late spring day. As I ran along the lilac-lined streets to the lakefront trail, the scent of the flowers, the type of day and time of year took me back to my youth. While each footfall moved me forward, mentally I was transported back in time. I was taken back to the soon-to-be twelve–year old boy on the cusp of finishing elementary school. A boy who had stories that you have heard me talk about before. Ones that may just sound like a reiteration of the same, yet to me, are part of…

  • Mindfulness,  Relationships,  Self-Care

    Distortions

    When I first started writing a number of years ago, my goal was always to make people laugh. To an extent, I still really do enjoy funny posts. Who doesn’t like to laugh? I do think though that there are so many more dimensions of ourselves that are important to share. The funny stuff is the easy stuff. It’s the not-so-funny stuff that people seldomly reveal. Societally, especially in the advent of social media, I think this makes us feel more isolated than we really are.  for example, Facebook or Instagram, everyone posts when their kid wins a trophy or the family is entirely clad in white with manicured hands…

  • Fitness,  Parenting,  Self-Care

    Are You There, God? It’s Me, Joe

    The Scholastic catalog came home with Emily a few months ago. She picked a few books to order, which we did. And there it was – a Judy Blume section. How I loved Judy Blume as a kid! I added Super Fudge and Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing to the list. She asked me why and expressed a strong desire to not get them. I listened but asked her to humor me. I wanted to read them to and with her. It didn’t take me long into Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing to feel like I was transformed back into my ten year old self. I know I’m…

  • Parenting,  Relationships

    Holy Shiksa! What Happened?!

    Yesterday, E had a playdate with a friend from her swim team.  The friend’s mom said, “We are having friends over for Shabbat. Can she stay for dinner?” “Sure, I said. But don’t be surprised if she only eats challah. She’s my picky eater.” I dropped E off to their house after school and thought of what I could do with A.  We landed on The Lego Movie: 2.  When it came time to pick E up, the hostess graciously invited us in to eat since the adults were still seated. G was away so I had no plans. The kids there were all happily playing. It gave me a…

  • Open Adoption,  Parenting,  Relationships

    A Birthmother’s Birthday

    Today is A’s birthmother’s birthday.  As we were getting ready for school, I said to her, “We should sing “Happy Birthday” and send it to C. I think that would make her happy.” A, said, “Can we Skype with her instead? Because I want to see her face while I sing and then say “I love you.” “Oh,” I said, grateful for how sweet this child is. ” I think that would definitely make her happy. Let’s try her.” We managed a quick Skype in the hectic morning and then planned to have a more leisurely conversation after school.  In the moment, all three of us had a part of our…