I’ve said it before, yet it is worth repeating…One of the trickiest parts of parenting is that it doesn’t always yield immediate results, say, like baking bread does. Heck, it doesn’t even require the patience, fortitude and technique that it takes to start and maintain a sourdough starter. Parenting requires the chutzpah it would take to start a freaking boulangerie. In Paris. Yet every now and again, you’re delivered a morsel more delicious than the sourdough baguette that I just took out of my oven. You are given a moment from your child that says, “I do hear you. You are helping me learn. I am internalizing your lessons.” And…
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Tuck Frump
In my last post, I talked about coming out twenty-five years ago and the progress that the LGBT community has seen this last quarter-century. In reflecting on how many of these changes made it easier for the younger generation to live their authentic lives, I also thought about the generations that preceded me. Those who had no real choice but to hide and be silent. Those who know me, whether it be those closest to me, or people with whom I have stayed connected with through social media, know that I am a vocal person. I like to say that I am like cilantro. People love me or hate me.…
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Are You There, God? It’s Me, Joe
The Scholastic catalog came home with Emily a few months ago. She picked a few books to order, which we did. And there it was – a Judy Blume section. How I loved Judy Blume as a kid! I added Super Fudge and Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing to the list. She asked me why and expressed a strong desire to not get them. I listened but asked her to humor me. I wanted to read them to and with her. It didn’t take me long into Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing to feel like I was transformed back into my ten year old self. I know I’m…
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Holy Shiksa! What Happened?!
Yesterday, E had a playdate with a friend from her swim team. The friend’s mom said, “We are having friends over for Shabbat. Can she stay for dinner?” “Sure, I said. But don’t be surprised if she only eats challah. She’s my picky eater.” I dropped E off to their house after school and thought of what I could do with A. We landed on The Lego Movie: 2. When it came time to pick E up, the hostess graciously invited us in to eat since the adults were still seated. G was away so I had no plans. The kids there were all happily playing. It gave me a…
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A Birthmother’s Birthday
Today is A’s birthmother’s birthday. As we were getting ready for school, I said to her, “We should sing “Happy Birthday” and send it to C. I think that would make her happy.” A, said, “Can we Skype with her instead? Because I want to see her face while I sing and then say “I love you.” “Oh,” I said, grateful for how sweet this child is. ” I think that would definitely make her happy. Let’s try her.” We managed a quick Skype in the hectic morning and then planned to have a more leisurely conversation after school. In the moment, all three of us had a part of our…
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Memory Lane
I often wax sentimental. Sometimes it’s the Italian in me; other times, it’s the big queen’s doing. Whatever the reason, last night, I found myself there. Full-on. The girls and I were in the car. I recently got A a new booster and E asked if we could switch sides. E has been behind me since taking that position when A was born. (Some baby safety groups recommend putting a baby’s car seat on the passenger side so it is on the sidewalk side when entering/exiting the car.) Now that the two of them are self-sufficient at putting on their buckles, I thought it would be OK. Truthfully, I would…
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Why’s Men Say…
A while back my coach challenged me with thinking about “why” I run. This, I can promise you, many runners do a lot of the time ourselves, even without someone asking. Like when we set an alarm for 4:30 to go running in the summer to get our mileage in before it gets too hot. Or when we dress like the Nanook of the North to go for a run in the winter. Or before we embark on some distance most people wouldn’t normally do. This one is hard to quantify because that number is very variable. For the non-runner, even three miles sounds like a lot. Whereas many distance…
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Time Warp
Every now and again, when I’m picking up the 100th thing of the day or putting clothes in the hamper that only I can see, something hits me. I get an image of my kids’ fleeting childhood
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The Road to Fatherhood – Part 1 – A Visit to the Lesbian Lair
The road to fatherhood is like a roller coaster – exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I imagine that this sentiment is shared by all men regardless of how they get there. Because our experience is through Domestic Private Infant Adoption, I will speak of it through that lens. Since this is a fairly in-depth process, I am writing about it in multiple parts. Even so, I will still be only scratching the surface… The first step in the long road becoming a dad through adoption is being certified by the state in which you live as having the physical, mental, emotional and financial capacities to parent. This is…
